Growing up, grandma was a nervous wreck in the weeks before Christmas, trying to get everything wrapped and decorated and ready. She didn't cook a Christmas dinner, because she did Thanksgiving and that was her limit for preparing holiday feasts. Considering that we generally opened presents Christmas eve and went to the Holiday Inn for dinner, I'm not sure what the fuss was about. But there was definitely fuss, and Christmas always loomed like D-day.

I've seen it in many iterations since. It seems to affect women more, especially older women who feel they have to live up to Martha's standard. When I worked in retail many years ago, the crowd started getting cranky about a week before Christmas, and by Christmas eve they were downright mean. So much for holiday cheer...

Personally, I don't worry about the holidays much. I feel lucky to escape what seems to be almost obligatory stress. I think I have escaped, because...

• I don't expect much. Since grandma died in 1983 I have never had the enthusiasm I did as a kid, knowing that I would no longer have packages piled up under the tree, and no one would be hanging a stocking for me. Because I don't think Christmas "should" be a certain way, I am rarely disappointed.
• I have fully escaped the religious thing. I was raised without religion and there's no one in my family hinting that I might like to go to mass.
• I shop online. I can't think when I'm in retail stores, and I come home broke and exhausted. Now I just have Amazon ship everything, or send gift certificates. I try not to send "stuff" - because who wants any more?
  
• I don't cook. I like cooking well enough, but I don't think I will ever like cleaning enough to host a holiday meal. I'm happy to bring something to someone else's dinner.
• I only send out a few cards, and sometimes they are New Years cards. When I was married we went through a lot of trouble to make handmade cards and send them to 100 people. I'd rather send a few to people that are important to me and not pretend I have a relationship with someone I haven't seen in ten years because I send them a card every year.
• I choose my parties. I don't think anyone should go to more than 2 or 3 holiday parties. I usually pick one or 2 most likely to have people I'd like to see.
• I buy myself a present. Sometimes I get gifts from other people, but from my family it is usually cash, so I put as much thought into my own gift(s) as I do those for others. That way I always get something that I really want or need without expecting someone else to know what that is.
• I don't have kids. I think this reduces life stress considerably, especially this time of year
  

Originally posted on kgi.vox.com